But You Are
by Lyla Calm
Summary: Lucy's insecurities about her appearance keep her up at night on the Dawn Treader. And when Caspian comes to check on her one night, what will he say about her secret wish? Not affiliated with the books; based on the Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie.


Caspian pushed open the door to one of the ship's lower quarters and stopped abruptly in the doorway. Lucy, clad in a white nightgown, stood in front of the full-length mirror, reaching out to touch her reflection. In the pale moonlight, she didn't even notice him at first.

"Lucy?"

She whirled around to face him, her hair spinning over her shoulder. "Caspian!"

His eyes sparkled with an almost mischievous glint as red splotches appeared on Lucy's cheeks. "I didn't know you were awake," she said quickly.

She looked at the floor, then back at her reflection. Almost as if an invisible force was pulling him into the room, Caspian stepped forward, taking careful steps so as not to awaken Gail, who was sound asleep in the bed in the corner of the room.

He stood behind her for a moment and watched her tug uncomfortably on the ends of her curls. Just as he was about to ask why she couldn't sleep, she cut in with a similar question.

"Why are you awake?"

"Your brother's been having nightmares. I thought you might be having them as well."

Lucy shook her head, her eyes never wavering from her reflection.

He opened his mouth to say something else, but Lucy cut in again. "Do you think I look like Susan?" she blurted out, turning to look at him apprehensively.

The question caught him off guard. He hadn't really thought about it—he'd always thought of Lucy as separate from Susan, as a completely different person. But now that he took a good look at her, he saw some of the same physical attributes. Long, brown hair and sparkling eyes, for one thing. Lucy's cheekbones were higher than Susan's—she still had that "little girl" look to her face. But underneath all that, Caspian knew that she was a fearless warrior, ready to give her life for a friend, just like her sister.

Hesitantly he reached out a hand to touch her hair and ran his fingers through the ends of her curls. He didn't know how to explain it—she did look like Susan, but she was...different. In a good way.

"Why? Do you want to look like Susan?"

Lucy bit her lip but didn't answer. The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't know what Caspian would say. She wanted to ask, "_Do you think I'm beautiful?_" But instead of asking him the question outright, she looked at the floor again. "It's just..."

"It's just what?" Caspian asked, coming closer and placing a hand on her shoulder. "What's bothering you?"

"It's just...I'm not pretty, like Susan is. I want to be, but...I'm not."

Of course. He should have seen that coming, but he hadn't even thought about it. He remained quiet, thinking that she might just need a listening ear.

"I—I'm just plain old Lucy. Everyone likes Susan, because she's beautiful. And even though I'm older now, I still...I still don't look like Susan. I'm not pretty."

"But you are," Caspian answered quietly, moving his hand from her shoulder to stroke her hair. "You _are_ beautiful."

Lucy pursed her lips. Maybe she just reminded him of Susan, and that was why he thought she was beautiful.

He clarified, "You don't look very much like Susan. But you _are_ beautiful, Lucy Pevensie. Don't ever doubt that."

Lucy watched him for a long time, his eyes boring into hers through the reflection in the mirror. Finally, she turned around and threw her arms around him. And feeling his arms come around her in return was one of the best feelings in the world.

He held her close, seeing both the insecurity of a little girl and the beauty of a woman at once. She had proven herself as a warrior and Caspian knew that she was as capable as twelve of the crewmen on the Dawn Treader.

She finally released her grip on him and stepped back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's silly of me to worry about it, I know. But I—I can't help it."

Caspian inhaled deeply, his hands resting on his belt. "Were you dreaming about it?"

Lucy nodded slowly. "I dreamed that…that I _was_ Susan."

"And what happened?"

"Well, I never existed. Peter and Edmund had no idea what Narnia even was." She sucked in a breath. "I was the one who first discovered Narnia. If I hadn't repeatedly pestered the others about it—"

"Then none of them would ever have found Narnia," Caspian finished, his gaze firm and gentle at the same time. "I would never have met any of you. Not your sister, not your brothers, not you."

Lucy nodded, her curls shaking in the dimly-lit room. "It's so hard not to wish I was like Susan."

Caspian turned to glance out the door. "We're on the right track. And because of that, we're going to face opposition and temptation at every turn." He reached out and tilted Lucy's chin up to look at him. "You mustn't allow temptation to lure you in. You're a strong person, Lucy. So is your brother. But you're going to receive the hardest blows where you're weakest."

Lucy brushed a tear away with a flick of her finger. "I know. No weakness," she whispered, but Caspian shook his head.

"We're all weak in some way," he told her, a smile playing on his lips. "We just need to depend on those who are close to us to be strong where we fail." He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek, taking her hand and squeezing it before quietly leaving the cabin.

Lucy turned to stand in front of the mirror again, glancing at her reflection. The warm feeling of his lips on her cheek and his voice in her head made her dizzy. _But you are beautiful, Lucy Pevensie. Don't ever doubt that._

She climbed into her bed, pulled the covers over herself, and drifted into a sleep filled with dreams in which she was beautiful; but this time, she was herself. She was positively glowing; and she was strong; and, of course, she was what Caspian saw every time he looked at her: beautiful. She was Lucy Pevensie.


End file.
